LaaF…Culture!

by dave k.

i have a theory, garnered a little from my personal experience, that there are four stages toward a serious relationship or at least how you know you’re moving forward in a relationship.  alright then, here it goes…

STAGE 1: THE BEST FACE

this is often the first stage in a relationship where you put on your best face.  you know, looking and sounding as interesting as possible and getting all dressed up.  this, of course, is fun but you can only keep this act up for so long.  if you’re getting more comfortable with each other over time you will probably move into the next stage.

never under-estimate the power of body language…hah!

alright he’s got game but remember it’s just game

STAGE 2: THE REAL FACE

this is when you show your real face, even the parts about yourself that you know aren’t pretty (according to steve harvey this will come out after 90 days of being together whether you like it or not).  if even after seeing each other’s issues, you’re still willing to stay and work them out your relationship may be ready for the next stage.

somehow i cannot hide who I am though i’ve tried

oh dream maker, you heart breaker

STAGE 3: THE FACE YOU DIDN’T KNOW WAS A PROBLEM

this stage is tough because you partner inevitably will have to bring up issues that you didn’t know were issues.  these might be habits that have long been a part of your life that you’ve been able to get away with or that others haven’t been bothered by, least of all you.  yet, the fact remains that they are issues that bother your partner.  you will have to decide which is more important: continuing to live the way you do or making changes because it’s important to your partner.  if you both acknowledge your thus-far-unknown-to-you issues AND you acknowledge the need to change then you may be ready to love another human being for the long-haul (i.e. a serious relationship i.e. marriage).

you know, there’s something there that wasn’t there before

you make me want to be a better man

STAGE 4: FACING IT ALL TOGETHER

even after marriage, life is not all happily ever after (sorry to rain on your enchanted parade).  life happens. change happens.  throughout all that, to be a serious relationship of true love, you commit yourselves to each other and strive to always become better together.  to get to this point i make the assumption that you agree what the “better” looks like (and in fact this point in particular is what research into long term couples has shown is indicative of longevity in a relationship).   to keep on loving through all the seasons of life for better or worse, for richer or poorer, though sickness and health…to be faithful…this is where you can experience real intimacy: a place where you are fully known and still loved.

unfortunately this kind of love is incredible these days

it’s not a perfect life but it’s a wonderful life

Tags: dating, love, love marriage, marriage, relationships, romantic comedies, stages in a relatioship, true romance